Wednesday last week in suburban Philadelphia a woman was raped by a stranger in a commuter train. Looking onto the horrendous scene were at least a dozen bystanders, some of which even bravely took out their phone to film the crime. But none of them felt the need to take action.
In describing situations like this often the term bystander effect is used. Meaning, people are in general less likely to offer help to a victim when there are other people present. You might have “fallen victim” to this yourself (as I have) hopefully in less egregious circumstances.
Is it a phenomenon as old as time that we are too cowardly to stand up for the dignity of other humans or has the West finally lost its way after centuries of moving forward? It might be the latter. Studies find that a vast majority of men and a considerable percentage of women have watched porn over the last month. That is, an individual freely and consciously searches for the sexual abuse of women and men online. They stand by while pleasuring themselves, not ignoring the grave injustice but enjoying it. After which they continue their day as if the haven’t just witnessed an appalling crime against human dignity.
You might want to counter this perspective arguing that porn is not necessarily abuse. However, we do know that much of the material found on the big porn sites depicts sexual assaults, other forms of sexual violence and partake in the non-consensual distribution of pornographic material. Now consider if all other porn in the world is amazing organic fairtrade GMO-free porn, there is no fairtrade label for pornography. You don’t know what is happening when the camera is turned off, you are playing roulette and the grand prize is rape.
Now, do we need to promptly start working on our FairPorn label? Should we set up a commission to sift through the billions of GB’s of porn so we can again watch our porn in peace? No. Research shows that pornography performers incur serious psychological and physical harms as a consequence of their “work”. These actresses and actors often carry behind them a history of abuse and, in the best of cases, they are forced into the business out of financial desperation.
Ignoring all these factors (which we can’t!) you still end up using another person for your own pleasure. This is dehumanizing and disgusting and would by itself be enough reason never to watch porn again. Summing up, yes, we have indeed lost our way. We are a society of active bystanders. Too weak to even stand up to our own sexual cravings. To those of you who, like me, contributed to this abuse. I hope this shed some light on a both painful and shameful situation. And it is good to be ashamed, because we were made for greater things; to stand up for the vulnerable and to defend human dignity instead of attacking it. Recognizing this we can use the shame as a driver of change. We need to stop consuming this filth right now. For many this will be a hard fight, but with the grace of God everything is possible.
